Home two years- and sweet poem

Well I got an email from blog city telling me we needed to renew this account if we wanted to keep it...a quick reminder that I don't think I have blogged on it since we came home 23 months ago.

I suspect for the rest of my life I will get a little restless at the Holidays with an intense urge to pack and travel and head to Europe, I just feel like my Christmas celebrations should be spent in Europe and for those that know me I really feel like five years of my life should be spent LIVING in Europe!!!!!  I just feel like I should be walking around Prague right now with roasted chesnuts. Last year we curbed some of that by heading to Disney World for Reichen's first "celebrated" birthday and then going camping in Key West where we literally camped on the Ocean for Christmas and our family day.

I have spent the past few weeks going to the library with the kids every two days and grabbing Christmas books...I'm trying to read to them every traditional Christmas book I can find since the last Christmas was not spent too traditionally (we had a piece of driftwood as our tree and pictures of us standing proudly around it outside of our tent), Christmas morning football was spent in the Ocean throwing a coconut!!!!!.  I love how the Children have gravitated to the Nativity stories vs. the Santa Clause ones. There is a slight obsession with the Drummer Boy right now and it has been joyful to be apart of such excitement and to have children to celebrate it with!!!!  I have to pinch myself most of the time I just feel so lucky!!!!

We added to the family several weeks ago...hubby came home with a Mercedes as a surprise so I thought I would trump him with my own surprise...a shelter pup who had been there for five years!!!!! "Mama Dog" as I knew her at the shelter was found about five years ago running down the street with a red collar and leash...I spent a lot of time trying to locate her owners at the time and spread my search pretty far. There was no luck. I knew I couldn't have four dogs and I tried to market her to everyone I could. She is "older", "limped" and a lazy ol' pup. I remembered her as being really chunky and she got her name because they housed her with small dogs who she mothered, loved and slept with. My friend Lori adopts old (senior) labs and emailed me about one of hers dying just about the time my mind drifted to ol' "Mama" a lot.  Lori and her hubby have always impressed me with opening their home to senior pups at a time when dogs cost the most and you are sure to witness their deaths in a few short years. Her email inspired me and I am convinced it is why we added to our family. I picked up the phone and asked that they deliver Mama to the home, we waited in the driveway and the boys bathed her and cleaned her up...I hadn't laid eyes on her in years and she has fit in beautifully with our family. She is a hodge podge of all of the other three retrievers in our home. We love her dearly...and with the ortho needs, the limp and her age I think financially I just might really have my own Mercedes right here at my feet. I never could think of a better name for her and so "Mama" she is still. Just the other night Karsh was letting her outside before night time and I laughed as he yelled, "go potty Mama...did you go potty???"....I guess I better let the neighbors know that "Mama" is our dog and that I am not wandering around in the night peeing on trees.

I can not believe two years ago we were in Europe getting ready to receive our referral for the boys...daily I think of what we were doing on that specific day two years ago. I remember Prague, Tristan chasing pigeons and while having no idea what beautiful children would be joining our family I was at an enormous peace about it. A dream came true when we got the referral for Reichen and Karsh... While I have never been deeply religious the whole experience really made me a lot more so.  The trip seems like years ago...I do not remember life before my children...these past two years have been VERY difficult in that Steve is traveling almost every week and has been since the week we returned from Ukraine but thank goodness that is the only difficulty and it has nothing to do with health etc... of our family. We are a family always on the move, vacationing often...road trips on a whim...and what troopers my children are.  I am hoping to spend a month in Europe with them this summer and I just feel like I was blessed with children who can travel and adapt easily to the different surroundings. They have such an appreciation for life and adventure.  After getting rained on for two camping trips over the summer I decided we needed a pop up trailer/tent!!!!! We got one!!!! A nice one with two king size beds and a table that converts to a bed as well. I really drooled over a minivan back in the Spring, but it wouldn't be able to pull this thing and I feel like that decision was for a reason. I'm so insane...we are actually redoing the pop up with minimal effort and money and replacing the decor to be a little Tuscan inside...I figure we have redone the bungalow we purchased in Wilmington so now I need to move my efforts somewhere else, as if I have nothing to do. Crazy I know.... I hope I am giving my children some wonderful memories. Our neighborhood has strict guidelines as to what we can have and not have and clearly we can not have a pop up in our yard or driveway....but we did enjoy it for a few days and the boys loved camping out in the driveway in it until we had to move it. Twice in the past year we have camped right on the Ocean...literally opened our doors to be right on the Ocean!!!! We spent four fabulous days in the Virginia mountains at a music festival...it was like a Woodstock relived. I had surprised the family with VIP tickets to it that allowed us on stage for all of the artist. It was four days, four stages...music till 2AM and we stayed in a borrowed pop up (trying it out before our purchase) right beside the main stage. It was wonderful!!!! We drifted off to sleep with music blaring!!!! I had bought the boys some Superman PJs that arrived the day we left...who would have known that they would stay in them for the full four days we were camping. They were recognized everywhere we went as Superman and they were just so cute!!!! The local paper got a picture of them in their capes listening to music. I made the huge mistake of not buying a set for Bronwyn...and had to make her up some kind of quick Superman outfit. She puts her hands in the air as if to fly and yells, "man!!!!!". She will not let you do anything for the boys that you don't do for her as well....

When we  returned from Ukraine we  delivered our beautiful daughter Bronwyn 9 weeks later...a huge surprise when she decided to come in 22 minutes and to come at home. I remember posting "the last member of our family has arrived!!!".  She is a delight, so full of energy and rules the roost there is no doubt. She holds court with all in the family and couldn't be any bossier. Tristan didn't talk till pretty much around his second birthday and Bronwyn I am convinced was born talking. She also was born very opinionated about her clothes, shoes and socks...we went thru months where you had to put her to sleep in her shoes!!!! Just last week I took the kids to the Monet exhibit in town and she insisted on two different socks, one was a blue newborn sock that covered her toe!!!! The other a very frilly pink sock and a very frilly girlie outfit...she was not about to budge and I was left no choice but to have her in the two different socks.  She talks and bosses up a storm...she often will point with a pouty face and say "Tee Tee..." tattling on everything that Tristan has done. She is so loved by her brothers, she can do no wrong and is just rotten beyond belief...she is fun and must do everything that the boys do. I have pictures of her dressed all frilly swinging a light saber in the best Star Wars battle... The boys are really into Star Wars and Harry Potter and I kid you not she has a wand and will point it and try to say "Windgardium Levalosa" and even says clearly "Ridiculous" with the wand (evidently that is one of the spells according to Reichen who knows the stories inside and out). Teh boys are always making masks...and they must make her one...we have the cutest picture of Reichen and Bronwyn standing proudly sporting some super hero masks that they made. Reichen gets the occasional bloodly nose and will wad up tissue to put in his nostril one day she was fussing up a storm and it was because she wanted waded tissue in her nostril...a cute picture of Reichen holding Bronwyn with her wadded up tissue in nose too....

Reichen turned 8 last Friday...I can't believe it!!!! To me 8 is just such a high number for my precious little baby!!!!!  There is a saying I heard that says to have children is to watch your heart run around outside of your body and Reichen certainly displays that for me. I can not stress how much fun it is to be the mother of a 6-7 and now an 8 year old!!!!! I love seeing life thru his eyes!!!!!! I love getting to relive a childhood and experience many things that I did not as a child. I was lucky to grow up in Germany from age 5-10 and saw so much but at the same time I missed so much, my toys  were in storage in the States and seemed to revolve around only three bears in hindsight. I never think I went to the library and many classic stories that I should know of I never knew of...so what a treat to get to cuddle on the sofa and read classic stories that I never knew existed. I have made one of the best decisions of my life and that is to Home School Reichen!!!! He is so bright and energetic and I feel like we cover so much more doing this then he could ever cover in school. I don't plan on doing it forever...a year at a time, but there is no doubt that I have made the right decision. I taught him fractions in minutes by taking a magnetic board out into the driveway while he was playing basketball...we sat down and just casually learned fractions, looked around and set up examples of fractions etc... It is marvelous to have a table of children learning subjects on different levels and being so eager!!!! Last year Reichen got on the bus at 7:45 and got off sometimes as late as 4:27...I live with guilt over that and he missed out on so much since he was tired at the end of the day and the day was pretty much gone. What a difference these past months have been and I am trying to embrace every moment with them as I realize they are growing up much to fast.

Reichen loves geography and we never open a book without our globe in front of us...he points to where the story takes place, where the characters are from and I feel like this has been such a gift to him. One of the local home school moms is doing a fetal pig dissection class tomorrow...she marketed it to the older kids but Reichen loves Science that I approached him and asked him if he'd be interested. His face lit up and he was so excited, we have spent a few days on the computer preparing him for it. I have made certain he knows that if he walks in and turns around that I do not care and that the money spent is minimal and he can do what he wants, but I will be very surprised if he does not go thru with it for he is just so excited.  This decision has helped us to travel a lot this Fall, we have followed Steve on some of his travels and now have the chance to go back and forth to our little bungalow near the beach, camping etc... with no preparation or worries of missing school.  I found a wonderful niche of other HSers who incorporate Harry Potter and other fun things into their days activities and plans, these ladies are real movers and shakers, filled with ideas and such wonderful imaginations...it has been wonderful to learn from them and to be around such wonderful minds they leave me wanting to do more, drooling at magical moments to be had and just make me a better mother.  We spent Reichen's birthday in the mountains and had a wonderful trip!!!!! Friday we drove two hours to a ranch where animals roam free and you drive thru the several miles or so in your vehicle and feed them...it was AMAZING we have pictures of the kids on top of the SUV feeding giraffes!!!!!!!! Giraffes with their heads thru our sun roof!!!!! Reichen was so excited... It was a rainy morning and very drizzly, I just assumed we'd be four wheeling around the place in deep mud and can not believe that five minutes before we arrived the sun was out, the sky was blue, the breeze was perfect and we were the  only one of two cars there!!!!! The kids had such a wonderful time!!!!!! I feared when I planned the trip that the animal lover in me might be selling my soul some, I feared how the animals would be kept etc.... and was so happy to see the most beautiful open and free space provided for them to roam freely!!!! It was like a safari...what a great time!!!!!

Karsh is doing wonderfully!!!! I feel for him being sandwiched between Reichen who loves attention and gets it from just everyone who he meets...and Tristan who is very active and also demands so much attention.  About six months ago I really noticed a strength in Karsh and his love for art work!!!!! He and Tristan will sit at the kitchen table for hours doing art, drawing and imagining.  They love it!!!! Karsh has had such an impact on Tristan with his art and it is so cute to watch Karsh's imagination while he draws and tells us what he drew and what his thoughts are of it.  We never read a book without discussing where it took place, where the characters are from, who the Author is and in Karsh's case a pretty nice discussion on who illustrated it and the techniques they used in doing their work. He clearly appreciates the work behind the pictures of a book and it is marvelous to watch. I felt a need to really recognize Karsh for his artwork...he now has a palette to display his work for I have surrendered the kitchen windows and the kitchen french doors to display his work. He is so cute as he finishes his masterpieces and tapes them up for all to see. We have done "art shows" where we drool over his work and he tells us with such confidence and pride about what he has done, drawn and how he did it. It is adorable to see...and he just beams with pride as he discusses his work. He will say often, "I am an artist!!!!".

A few weeks ago I started to cry looking at Tristan....he still sleeps with us and every night when he gets tired says, "mama please may I hold your hand when I go to sleep"...what a gift!!!!!  He had fallen off to sleep with his Buzz light year outfit on and I looked at him and he just seemed like he had grown a foot overnight.  Steve was traveling, all the kiddos were tucked into bed asleep and I just started crying at the thought of him ever outgrowing being Buzz Light year!!!!! Costumes and being characters are such a big part of the children's life...but the innocence of him stuffed into a Buzz Light year outfit that is possibly a size to small just made me pretty emotional. Tristan is obsessed with letters in the alphabet...he has been pretty much before he even spoke...he is reading now!!!!! I actually check out Level 1 and 2 books for him and he and Karsh read together. He blows my mind. I do know that all kids evidently catch up by age 8 in this arena and that this does not really secure me some excellent future reader but it sure is exciting to see him sounding out words. Yesterday I asked him to spell "COLD" for me and he said, "C-O-D"...he just loves to spell and read and sound out letters. Gladly all of this was done without those talking toys placed in front of toddlers...I cringe when I see the commercials of a baby holding onto a talking table barely able to stand while this thing blurts out the A-B-C's to the toddler and the father calls the mother into the room and says, "look he is learning his A-B-Cs". YIKES!!!!!! Where this madness started I will never know but it is saddening.

I just finished my annual report on the boys...when you adopt from Ukraine you agree to send yearly updates for the first few years and then every few years from that point on. Sadly it appears many do not do this and it has effected the American/Ukraine relationship when it comes to adoption. It is an honor for me to do so...a great chance to brag about my kiddos, to see how much they have grown and to really reflect on the past year. I came to realize that my children have never needed to go to the DR outside of their "routine" physicals and check-ups by age, and realized how lucky I am that they are so healthy. Karsh had stitches within months of coming home and I feared that we might just be hanging out in the ERs with three boys but knock on wood that has not been the case.

We are really excited to share that we are expecting another little girl in March!!!!! Amazingly she has the same due date as Bronwyn March 19th!!!!! We are so excited!!!! Bronwyn has been real excited and when you say, "Bronwyn are you going to be a big sister???" she scrunches her little face and says, "sista...".... I can't wait to play dress up, princess, salon etc... with my little girls.  Bronwyn likes to put diapers on all of her stuffed animals and all that I suspect she will have the baby on her back trying to change her at all hours of the day.  We are preparing for a homebirth, mainly because Bronwyn was born at home in 22 minutes.  I am pretty scared...a midwife could live five miles from me and not make it here in 22 minutes so we are really putting our research efforts into an "unattended homebirth", not to be rebels but mainly because I think we would be kidding ourselves if we imagined much differently. All of the children have watched actual footage of women delivering, no fuzzy block outs...the full birth and all are excited and my dream and what I imagine is that all will be there as their baby sister Aynsleigh joins our family.  Tristan is always drawing the family...just in the past few days he drew a picture of me driving the SUV with everyone in seats behind me...he always includes Aynsleigh in the family and I just love it!!!!! He says, "I want baby Aynsleigh to come out now!!!!". When Karsh first witnessed a birth on video he said loudly, "WOW neat!!!!".  Send all thoughts to a safe delivery for us please...this is one of the most anxious times of my life that is for certain.

When Steve returns home I hope to get his help in sharing some recent pictures of the kiddos...we have some real cute ones!!!!  We prepared some Hogwarts acceptance letters to the boys (Hogwarts is Harry Potter's school)...I hid the letters in special bags that the boys made for the occasion, I supplied them brooms, hats, a golden snitch that I made and an antique cauldron I found in an antique store. I hid them in my backyard, five brooms and bags and hats all in a row up against a decorative fence (one for Aynsleigh of course). One of my favorite pictures is of Tristan whose face was all lit up when he discovered them. He was afraid to approach them but gathered his brothers around saying, "look!!!!!!". He approached slowly...it was so sweet and the wide eyes and opened mouth are some of my favorite photo captures to date....

For those in the adoption community waiting to travel our thoughts are with you...there appear to be a lot of bumps in the road lately as they switche procedure and hold Americans to some different and more difficult standards. It is worth the wait I promise. We had a few bumps and each and every one of them lead us to our children...each day mattered in the dance that it would take to bring home our specific children. Hang in there our thoughts and prayers are with you!!!!!

 A Prayer for the Children
by Ina Hughes

We pray for children
who give us sticky kisses,
who hop rocks and chase butterflies,
who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those
who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who've never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers,
who've never "counted potatoes"
who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead,
who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children
who bring us fistfuls of dandelions and sing off-key,
who have goldfish funerals,
who build card-table forts,
who slurp their cereal on purpose,
who get gum in their hair,
put sugar in their milk,
who spit toothpaste all over the sink,
who hug us for no reason,
who bless us each night.

And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.

We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store,
who pick at their food and like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
and never rinse out the tub,
who get quarters from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at
and whose smiles make us cry.

And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry
and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children
who want to be carried
and for those who must.
for those we never give up on,
and for those who don't have a chance.
for those we smother,
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody
kind enough to offer.